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Thursday, June 18, 2009

Turning Back the Pages of Time

When I was 11 years old I started my first real diary. After keeping one for a few years I became a very dedicated journal-writer, sometimes writing every day. This past year I haven't written as much because I am busier and (truth be told) I don't always like to be accountable for the thoughts I am thinking (since I have always tried my best to be honest with my diary).

Tonight I pulled out one of my old diaries, one I started when I was 15 years old. While I was reading the accounts of fun times at camp or at church, I wished I could relive those moments. Moments when everyone seemed to be my friend, church was great in my eyes, I was always at home away from worldly influences, and yes, love was in the air! (Or at least I thought so in my little 15 year old mind!)

But then I read about the mistakes I made, the attitude that I tried to believe I didn't have, and the "big" worries I couldn't get past. I started to have second thoughts about living those years over again! Maybe being a teenager once is enough!

As I kept reading I was reminded of things I hadn't thought about in a long time. One of the biggest blessings was reading the song I use to love called, "Only Jesus." It was a song I learned while I was at Bible camp the year before. I had went back to this song many times when I was having troubles in my spiritual walk and got a lot of encouragement out of it.
Reading about the more care-free days gone by made me remember how nice it was not to have a lot of worries. It makes me want to let go of some things that aren't in my control and simply live my life for God day by day. No, we can't really turn back the pages of time and relive them . . . but we can remember them and learn from them!

2 comments:

Lori said...

Jennifer, one thing that I really appreciated about this post was where you said, "This past year I haven't written as much because I am busier and (truth be told) I don't always like to be accountable for the thoughts I am thinking (since I have always tried my best to be honest with my diary)." That is so true. So often, we don't like to be held accountable for the thoughts we're thinking. Your post reminded me to "gird up the loins" of my mind today. I appreciate what you said. :)

Under Southern Skies said...

How true! Thanks for the encouragement, Jennifer.