"Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep." ~Samuel Johnson, The Rambler, 1750
A few months ago I met a man my parents have known for a long time. I knew him when I was young, but it was so long ago that I cant' remember him. This man really sticks out from the rest of the crowd because he is different. Some might think he is different in a bad way, but others love him for who he is and over look some of the odd things about his personality. I am one of those people who like him even though he isn't like most people. He is very nice, easy to talk to, fun to be around, stays active in his church, and loves God. But what I love most about him is the way he has accepted who he is. It really encouraged me to be myself.
I don't think I can say I want to change myself so that I am accepted by others or so I can gain man's applause, rather I wish I were different so that I could have more fun. I am so quiet and so unsociable that I usually don't enjoy big gatherings unless I know the people very well and I have been around them for a long time. Unfortunately there aren't many people like that in my life who I am comfortable around. So I usually stay to myself and watch everyone else have a good time. (Sometimes I wonder if this will hender me from finding a man I can talk to!)
But you know what? That is who I am! God did not create me to be a social butterfly and I am exhausted from trying to be one. I still wish I could talk to anyone with ease and jump in a crowd of people and have fun, but the awkwardness is still there and I don't know if I will ever overcome it. My timid spirit simply will not go away. So instead of getting discouraged about myself I am going to try to accept who I am . . . even if it mean dying an old maid! : )