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Saturday, June 6, 2009

Happy to be Me?

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." — Anna Quindlen

"Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep." ~Samuel Johnson, The Rambler, 1750

A few months ago I met a man my parents have known for a long time. I knew him when I was young, but it was so long ago that I cant' remember him. This man really sticks out from the rest of the crowd because he is different. Some might think he is different in a bad way, but others love him for who he is and over look some of the odd things about his personality. I am one of those people who like him even though he isn't like most people. He is very nice, easy to talk to, fun to be around, stays active in his church, and loves God. But what I love most about him is the way he has accepted who he is. It really encouraged me to be myself.

I don't think I can say I want to change myself so that I am accepted by others or so I can gain man's applause, rather I wish I were different so that I could have more fun. I am so quiet and so unsociable that I usually don't enjoy big gatherings unless I know the people very well and I have been around them for a long time. Unfortunately there aren't many people like that in my life who I am comfortable around. So I usually stay to myself and watch everyone else have a good time. (Sometimes I wonder if this will hender me from finding a man I can talk to!)

But you know what? That is who I am! God did not create me to be a social butterfly and I am exhausted from trying to be one. I still wish I could talk to anyone with ease and jump in a crowd of people and have fun, but the awkwardness is still there and I don't know if I will ever overcome it. My timid spirit simply will not go away. So instead of getting discouraged about myself I am going to try to accept who I am . . . even if it mean dying an old maid! : )


Sandra said...

Your timid spirit is a blessing. When someone is hurting or needs a compassionate ear, they will not go to the social butterfly. When someone needs a shoulder to cry on, you will offer yours. When someone needs forgiveness your heart will grant it. When someone needs to be loved, your arms will be wide open. The spirit God gave you is the perfect one for you. It is a blessing not a curse. I would rather have that spirit than be a social butterfly making a lot of noise but doing no real good. I wouldn't change you for anything in this world. I am very proud of who you are.

Lori said...

Jennifer, I know it's easier said than done, but I hope you realize that you don't fit "in" because you're not "of this world". And don't ever forget that the Lord who made you...knows all about you. In fact, it was He who gave you your personality & that timid spirit. (Meekness and quietness are quite valuable in the Lord's eyes though, ya know.) :) As the title of your blog states, you are a "maiden in waiting". Waiting is never easy. Just don't forget that the same Lord who made you SHALL direct your path. I'll be praying for you today. :)

Under Southern Skies said...

Jennifer, remember 1 Peter 3:4:
But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

Mrs. Sandra,
That is such a sweet comment you left! I hope Jennifer realizes what a wonderful mom she has! :)

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post about how God has made us all to have different personalities. If everyone in the world had the same gifts, the same strengths, and if everyone was equally as good at something as anyone else, it would be boring. There would be no gifts because everyone would have the same ones. You have the special gift of writing and lending a listening ear rather than talking all the time. Some people have the gift of eloquence and knowing the right things to say. While others may not listen as well or speak as well either.

I want to let you know that your blog has been an encouragement to me, thank you for your example!

Anonymous said...

Jennifer, the qualities that you possess can only be given by the Lord! Your desire to have those qualities are beyond comprehension to the lost! (and alot of christians) because of thier failure to wait and trust in the Lord. Be not dismayed God has you on His mind! Continue to seek Him and His wisdom and everything else will fall into place. You are more precious than rubies! and your testimony shines as a diamond. God never moves without a purpose or plan, so rejoice in the Lord for He makes no mistakes!

Anonymous said...

I can identify with that. I'm kind of the same way; not very good at having conversation with strangers. But I've had several people tell me that they appreciate a meek & quiet spirit. God can use you no matter what your personality is, if you're willing to let Him.