"She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness." Proverbs 31:26
This morning mama and I talked for a while on the back porch. She told me about things God has shown her through church, books she's been reading, and people she has come in contact with. I let her do most of the talking because I know she is a lot wiser than me and I would benefit more from listening. What she was saying wasn't exactly easy to hear. At times I caught myself wanting to take ooffence and defend the way I believed or what I was doing, but I didn't let it show. I know she is right about a lot of things and being prideful isn't going to help me. The best thing for me to do is humble myself and admit that there is a lot I don't know about living a life completely sold out to Christ . . . and keep listening to mama's wisdom.
It's hard for me o admit that I've got off track - that I have lost my focus. When was the last time I asked God to put someone in my life for me to share God's love with? Has my focus been on God, or has it been on church and what "I'm doing for the Lord"?
Within the past year and a half I have been swayed into living a feel good Christian life. They people I was around focused more on heaven, prayer, and God's grace, with only an occasional reference to God's judgment and His anger towards sin. I sang in church, was active with the youth, sang in the chior, played the piano for the offertory, and helped out in the children's program. But would all that I was doing help bring souls to Christ? Was the time I spent doing these "services" to the Lord, wasted? Because now I'm not so sure if God wanted me to spend most of my time on those things.
Now I am back around people who have their focus on really serving God and following Him, not anybody else. I'm finding it kind of hard, but slowly I feel like God is drawing me back to the old ways. Was I backslid the past year and a half? I don't believe so. Rather, I would describe it as going in circles, not accomplishing anything. Now I'm ready to get off of the hamster wheel and start following God.