The next day as I was getting ready to climb into bed and go to sleep, I strongly sensed God was telling me to pray. So I knelt down and began my usual prayers, not thinking about anything particular. Within seconds I realized that what He really wanted me to do was stop and listen. So I did, and I instantly felt like I should quit my job. I thought, "That's not God. That's my own thoughts. That's just me wanting to quit." So I got up and went to bed and as I rolled over I felt like I was turning my back on God. It was as if God had told me to do something and I was ignoring Him. My spirit was quenched. This made me think that maybe it was God speaking to me. My mind raced as I thought about all the ways my life would be impacted if I no longer had to work 40 hours a week. It was sad to think of leaving the ladies I had worked with for almost 5 years, but exciting to think about all the better things I could do with my time. The next day I couldn't think of nothing else. I decided that as soon as I got home I would pray about it, but God seemed to say "What is there to pray about? I've already told you what to do." It was that clear!
As I read Psalms 90, verses 10-12 stood out to me as the desire of my heart. "The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away. Who knoweth the power of thine anger? even according to thy fear, so is thy wrath. So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom." I felt as if I was wasting time as I filed paper work at the hospital day after day. It wasn't completely useless, but I saw very little fruit coming from my efforts to be a light in my little corner. I kept hoping that one day I would be able to get more involved in ministry, but the days were quickly slipping by and before I knew it another year would pass.
During this time, I was practicing a song for a friend of mine to sing on Mother's Day at church. One of the lines said, "Modern women want their rights, their job, their career. They have no time for a family, they can't waste their younger years." That was exactly what I felt I was doing! Wasting my younger years. . . all for what? A little money in the bank and something to fill time? How many times have I thought that if I could go back to my teen years I would have never started working in the secular world if my parents agreed? Oh, if we only knew back then.
That night I talked to mama for a long time about it and she thought it was a great idea. It was late at night when we finished talking, so I talked to daddy about it the next day (Wednesday). I wasn't sure what he would think of this decision, but I had to ask. I knew I wouldn't be able to rest until I had at least tried to follow God's plan for my life. Much to my joy, he was totally okay with me quitting my job to get more involved in ministry work and even said that he thought it would be great if I went to such and such a ministry . . .the very one I wanted to volunteer at! I told my brother and sisters what I was going to do and we were all so excited together! It was a done deal. Within three days of me telling God, "I don't know how you're going to make this happen," He not only freed me up for the week of camp, but every other week as well! My mind went back to the times I always thought I would be at the hospital until the doors closed or I got married . . . whichever came first. Even when I had looked for another job or a part time job, God would never give me peace about it. It wasn't until I was willing to give up everything to serve God that He allowed me to quit my job to do something more important. After 6 years of working, I was finally going back home where I belonged!
Thursday and Friday some of my co-workers were going to be out of the office, so I decided to wait until Monday to turn in my notice so that I could let them all know at one time. However, this didn't stop me from e-mailing the preacher to let him know I could go to camp and play the piano for him. I let him know that I would be willing to help out where ever necessary and left it at that, but I was really hoping he would use me as a counselor. The next day he e-mailed back and said he wanted me to be a counselor! Need I even say that I was excited?
That Sunday when we went to Sunday School, before I could even sit down at our table, I was given another opportunity. A girl in my class had just gotten a job and could no longer go to camp,
( a different camp and different month) so the coordinator needed someone to fill her spot as a sponsor. The registration fee was already paid, all I had to do was "try" to get off work. She told me, "I know before you said you couldn't get off work, so I know that's going to be the hard part. Don't worry about the rest, just try to get off work." I so badly wanted to tell her, "That's the easy part because in a few weeks I wont have a job anymore!" But since my boss didn't know yet I kept quiet and simply told her I would pray about it. Once again, God opened the door and I had peace about going. God was making everything fall into place so perfectly! It was so evident that it was God's will and there was no opposition coming from any side. I could not have orchestrated it any better!
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