The God Who Lives Inside Me and Balance

Lately God has been showing me a lot of things. Some through scripture, through a book, my mom, and my pastor. I don't really know how to express these things, but I have a desire to share what God has been teaching me, so I'll just try to summarize everything the best way I can.

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Tonight's scripture that jumped out at me, while my pastor was preaching, was Romans 8:6. "For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace." So many times I dwell on selfish, worldly thoughts because I think that those are the thoughts that make me happy. But this verse clearly says that spiritual thoughts bring life and peace, something that I look for just like most other Christians.

Last night I was reading a book called "The Pursuit of God" by A. W. Tozer. He talked about the temple and more specifically, the place called The Presence of God that was separated by a veil. A. W. Tozer elaborated on how great an experience it was for the priest to go into that place once a year. That very veil that separated us from the Presence of God was rent the day of Christ' crucifixion. Now I  have the privilege to spend time in the presence of God every day. Even more, He lives inside of me! The greatest, most powerful, all knowing, prince of peace, maker of all that ever was and ever will be, the wonderful savior, the beginning and the end, lives inside of me!

He wrote, "Love and mercy and righteousness are His, and holiness so ineffable that no comparison or figures will avail to express it. Only fire can give even a remote conception of it." Think about it. God appeared unto Moses as a burning bush, he lead them through the wilderness as a pillar of fire, "the fire between the wings of the cherubim in the holy place was called the 'shekinah' the Presence," in the New Testament God filled the place at Pentecost as a fiery flame, and in Revelation John says "his eyes were as a flame of fire." I had never heard those illustrations put together in such a way. I thought that was really amazing!

Lastly, I'm trying to learn how to balance my family life and church life with my work life. I know that I've been putting too much emphasis on my job because I truly feel like they need me so I want to be there. But I need to learn to do everything that is required of me to the best of my ability AND NO MORE. God did not call me to be the best medical coder in all of Georgia or the employee of the year. He called me to be a happy sister who is there for her brothers and sisters, a loving daughter who is there to help and spend time with her parents, and a faithful church member who is not too busy to cook for church dinners and sing for the sick and dying. I know easing up on my "career" is the right thing to do, which will not be easy. But with God's guidance I will learn how to balance it all in a way that is pleasing to God and still satisfactory to my employers as well. The main goal is to please God because when this life on earth is over, it will not matter how many awards I receive for being a great medical coder. God wants to see me live a life that will glorify Himself. And that's what I want to strive towards.

Books I Read

For the past few years I have been very carefull about what I read in my spare time. As a rule, I don't read hardly any fiction. (In fact, I can't remember when the last time I read a book that wasn't true.) The reason for this is because when I was in my early teens I became obsessed with Christian romance novels. Were they bad? Not exactly. . . that is, not until they became more important to me then the things of God.
 

I didn't realize that what  I was doing was so bad until I read an article by Isobel Kuhn, a missionary to China in the 1900's. She wrote about the nights she would stay up until midnight soaking up every last word of the lates fiction she was fascinated with, and then would try her best to keep her eyes open long enough to read a few verses of her Bible before going to bed. She compared herself to someone who eats nothing but candy, sweet dainties, and soda pop, and afterwards is left with no appitite for meat and potatoes.

It seemed that we had something in common other then our love for fiction. Neither one of us knew how to do things in moderation which leaves us with a great problem. While I read all those interesting books my chores went undone and my school work was done half heartedly. On one occasion mama had to take my books away until I started being more responsible with my time!

Since I knew my weaknesses, I decided to give up fiction entirely unles it was something that would be benneficial to my spiritual life. Recently while I skimmed through a book my sister is reading, I Kissed Dating Goodby by Josh Harris, something he wrote caught my eye. He said something to the effect that, different people have to limit themselves to avoid lustful thoughts. Some have to avoid watching TV, some decide not to go to the beach, and others quit reading romance novals. When I read that I felt like shouting "that's it!" That was exactly why I put away fiction books but I just didn't know how to say it. Those books made me live in a dream world that didn't exsist and never would, and they were doing nothing but feed my lust for fleshly things! And when it comes to lust it is hard to controll it with moderation.

I'm ashamed to say that I don't read very much at all now, but when I do make myself do it I usually read books on missionaries and Christian living. Among my favorite are Quest for the High Places by Natalie Nyquist, A Young Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George, Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy, and What Do I Know About My God by Mardi Collier.

I will admit that I love the old classics such as Little Women  the Anne of Green Gables Series, books that I think all girls should read at least once! But now I read books that I know God would be pleased to see me read. And if I ever need a good book to read I know just where to go! You can go there to . . . Katie is always reading something good and she gives great book reviews at her blogs God Will Bless Those Who Wait, and In the Hands Of God. Remember, we should want to please God in every area of our lives, and it should be no different when it comes to the books we read.

The Past Weeks

Lately I haven't had much to post about, and to be honest, I just didn't feel like it. Even now I don't know exactly what to say or how to say it. So here's a quick peek into what has been occupying my mind of late.

I've been reading . . .

and

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A poem I have been pondering . . .

"There is a quiet place,

Where I meet my LORD,

To wait upon His voice.

And when He comes,

All things surrounding,

No matter their worth,

Become shadows in the

Light of His embrace."

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My current thought . . .

God has been good to me!

Excuses, Excuses!

Remember the song that use to be on the radio all the time? "Excuses, Excuses, we hear them every day. And the devil he'll supply them, if the church you'll stay away. . . " Well, unfortunatly, we find pleanty of excuses not to serve God even when we are at church. One of them that I've found myself using pretty often is, "Things are harder now then they use to be back then. We have so many more temptations and not enough Godly influence." It sounds great, but is it in the Bible? What scripture can I find to back that up? I did  find a place where Cain slew his brother. That was awful! It's one thing to kill someone who is your enemy or someone you don't know personally, but killing your only brother is pretty crucial! And what about the King committing adultery? Sounds like something that would go on today, doesn't it? Then I came across a place in the Bible where Sodomy was being lived very openly . . . probably just as bad as it is in Callifornia.

Last week I started reading The Pursuit of God (a gift from my great friend Katie!). In the preface A. W. Tozer writes, "Current evangelicalism has laid the altar and divided the sacrifice into parts, but now seem satisfied to count the stones and rearrange the pieces with never a care that there is not a sign of fire upon the top of lofty Carmel . . . They minister constantly to believers who feel within their breasts a longing which their teaching simply does not satisfy." Remember, this was written in 1948, that's 62 years ago. How many of us have thought, "If I could have just lived 50 years ago I would be a better Christian"?

He went on to say, " . . . I wonder if there was ever a time when true spiritual worship was at a lower ebb. To great section of the Church the art of worship has been lost entirely, and in its place has come that strange and foreign thing called the "program." This word has been borrowed from the stage and applied with sad wisdom to the type of public service which now passes for worship among us."

 This world was in a horrible state 62 years ago, yet Christians still lived on strong. I'm sure that if I were to look hard enough I could find even older references to the wicked state of this world, wickedness that we are somehow convinced to believe only exsists in the twenty first centry. But the truth of the matter is this: Christians have been living in an evil world ever sence Eve took the first bite out of the fruit which came from the Tree of Good and Evil. The atmosphere in which we live in does not give us any reason to serve God with less vigor then the great Christians who served before us. May we all strive to be the best Christian that ever lived, in a time when it is need just as bad as it ever was.

Seeing the Glory of God

"We can only see the stars at night. They're there during the day, when the sun bathes our world with light. But we can't see them until the sun slips away, plunging us into darkness." ~ Excerpt from Heaven Without Her by Kitty Forth-Regner

When I read this I instantly grasped the concept! I have gazed up into the blackest skies many times and admired with silent awe the flickering stars that seem worlds away. I don't exactly know why little white dots against a black back ground are so amazing, or why my soul is flooded with such feelings. When I gaze up at the huge sky I feel very small and insignificant.

It was always during the dark times in my life when I saw God's wonderful amazing glory. I would sometimes sit back and reflect on what had taken place in my life and try to grasp what God has done for me. I would feel very small and insignificant and realize how BIG and GREAT my God is!

Do I wish there were never nights? Of course not! If that were so I would never be able to see the beauty of the stars against the dark sky. Do I wish I had never been through my trials? No. If I hadn't, I would never know how much my LORD really does love me. "We can only see the stars at night."

Setting Aside

Wow! Has it really been 10 days since I posted anything? I have to be honest . . . I have really become relaxed lately. Maybe too relaxed. After 5 years I quit publishing Looking Heavenward, a magazine for young Christian girls. That has really taken a load off of my mind and has freed me up to look unto other things God may want me to focus on.


Another posotive in my life is how well college is going. (Did I mention that I went back to online college for Medical Billing?) It is going a lot better then it did at first! I am starting to understand it more so I don't dread studying so much and now I can actually see myself getting somewhere.


So what have I been doing while I wasn't blogging? I've actually been doing a lot of reading, something I haven't done faithfully in a long time. Heaven Without Her by Kitty Forth-Regner is about a women who, after her mothers death, is trying to discover what was so wonderful about her mother's faith in God. The first 5 chapters have been very interesting and insightful!


For the past few weeks I have been weighed down with worrying about something that is not in my controll and may not even be in my near future. When I put it that way it sounds really silly, but at the time I thought this was something that I really needed to figure out. I didn't realize how much this was weighing me down until last night when I finally layed it at Jesus' feet and decided not to worry about it. Today I have had a surprizingly good day which caused me to look back and wish I had done this sooner! I often wonder if I will ever come to a point in my life that I will always cast my burdens on Christ because of past experiances. As for right now, I know that God can take care of everything (like He's done before) but I still want to hold onto things that are precious to me. I don't completley trust Him. Right now I feel vicotrious for giving up those things that did not belong to me, but I know that I will fall again and take hold of things that will only weigh me down. But for now I am going to try to run the race with all diligence!


"Wherefor seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin wich doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the reace that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the crosss, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand ofthe throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

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This weekend I bought the Pride and Prejudice piano book, with music written from the 2005 edition of P & P : )

What I Have Been Reading

Ugh! Have my fingers ever typed so slow and sporadic? I need a break from my keyboarding class and I wasn’t getting anywhere anyway. So I thought I would post a paragraph or two.

Recently I’ve been reading 15 Minute Home and Family Organizer by Emilie Barnes. It is a good book to help anyone get started at becoming organized. Here are a few quotes:

“I label the meaning of a goal as a dream with a deadline.”

“There are two very important parts to goal-setting. Goals must include: A statement of quality (how much) and A date to complete (deadline).”

“Every request that comes your way doesn’t have to be answered YES. It’s okay to say NO. You need to control your schedule and not let others plan it for you.”

She also wrote a book called The 15 Minute Meal Planner. That book is next on my list to read!