When you feel like you've blown it.

Ever feel like you've really blown it? You feel like you've done something that cannot be forgiven or that you are too ashamed to ask forgiveness for? Maybe we've all been there, but we don't have to let that destroy our relationship with God.

That's a little bit of what was expressed in an artical called, "Don't Hang Yourself . . . Hang Around." It was such an encouragement to me that I thought about re-writing it myself to share with y'all, but instead I'll just post the link here as well as print it for my files. I really encourage you to take the time to read this short artical if you are down and out.

Click here to read it.

My God

I've been studying myself lately. In fact, I've been studying myself to much. I've noticed that when I am the most discouraged it is usually if not always when I am focusing on myself. I get disheartened because I see my own selfishness, my many failures, my weaknesses, and all my other sins. I'll start to feel defeated because I don't measure up. But you know what? I have a God who is longsuffering. I have a God who delights in mercy. My God is a forgiving God, and not only does he forgive my sins but he forgets them. I serve a God who will never leave me nor forsake me. I can talk to the King of Glory, the King of old. I am able to have fellowship every day with the One who created this world and all that is in it.

I may not be good, but my God is holy and righteous. And that's what really matters.

Youth Camp: 4-week Perspective

Today I was looking again at the pictures I took at camp. I look at them over and over because I want to be reminded of the great time we had and all that took place. I want to get a glimpse of the great spirit that was there all week. Pure and innocent.

It's been four weeks since we got back from camp. The first two weeks I was doing really good; many teens in our youth group were excited about serving God and it kind of spilled over into the whole church for a time. We had zeal! I wanted to hold onto that excitement so bad because I guess in the back of my mind I knew it wouldn't last forever . . . but I wanted it to. I thought that if I read my Bible enough, prayed enough, and stayed away from wickedness as much as possible then I would be eager to serve God every day and I would always be filled with an abundance of love for Christ. And I tried to do just that.

But it didn't work.

Once I was back from camp I had to go back to work. That meant I heard cussing (thankfully, it's not very often), I saw immodest dress, I saw lots of attitude, I saw coldness towards anything Godly, I heard worldly music when I went into the grocery store and restaurants, I was tempted to turn the TV on, and I was encouraged to just do what feels right. I no longer went to church twice a day, I didn't listen to 3-4 sermons within 24 hours, I wasn't around many Christians, I wasn't in an atmosphere that shunned County music and cussing, I didn't have the chance to pray with 10-60 like minded Christians throughout the day, I wasn't in a place that encouraged girls to dress modest, and I wasn't constantly reminded to read my Bible and pray. I was no longer at Bible camp and it was evident!

The first day that I didn't feel like spending 30 minutes in prayer I was discouraged. Only two weeks and already I'm slacking? But then I started thinking about an illustration a preacher once gave. Did you know that before the flood there was a canopy of water that surrounded the earth? This canopy would shield off any harmful radiation that came from outer space. This meant that people would live much longer. This makes sense when you realize that Adam lived to be 930 years old and Methuselah lived 969 years, yet after the flood the age expectancy dropped dramatically. It is also believed that plants also thrived and grew much larger and stronger all because of the environment they were in.

That's kind of how I think of camp verses the world we live in every day. At camp we are shielded from as much wickedness as possible. No TV, no secular music, no immodest dress, etc. Because we are not exposed to those sinful attractions we are free to live for God to the greatest extent. Christians should thrive in that kind of atmosphere. But once that shield is broken we have to live in a totally different atmosphere that effects every part of our lives.

But this doesn't mean that we should give into the struggles of this world and live for Christ half-heartedly. It just means that we have to try harder. Christian living isn't being given to us like it was at camp so we have to get it our self.  It isn't as easy, but it can be done. We may not be as excited, but we still need to serve God with everything that we have. We have to read our Bible and pray when we don't feel like it, we have to make our self smile when we're singing at church, and we have to go out of our way to seek what God wants us to do.

And as always . . . be reminded of the good days at camp.

What to do When You Don't Know What to Say

Have you ever had a friend or family member go through a hard time in life? I mean, something life changing. I've often found mysef in this sittuation. In times like these it's hard to know what to say. I so baddly want to encourage them and help uplift their spirit, but what do I say? I don't know the pain they're going through and I don't know how this is going to effecting their life forever. How can I really offer encouragement in such a circumstance?

So I went to the book of Job. Everyone knows that Job went through more and lost more then we could ever imagine. But God turned my attention to his friends istead of the one who was suffering. Now truly, his friends were great indeed just for the fact that they sat and mouned with him for seven days. How many of us would do that for our friends? I believe that Job's friends really wanted to help him. They were probably very close to him and hated to see their friend so discouraged and depressed. But their encouragement and advise was full of falsehood. Even Job's counsel was wrong because God said to Job, "Whis is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge?"

Now we all know that each sittuation of suffering is different, but we can all learn something from this story. What I learned was that sometimes it is better to say nothing than to speak void words. I don't want to be like Job's friends and cause them more pain by my untimely words. If God wants us to say something He will give us the words to say and make them very clear. But there are times when the best thing we can do is just love our friends and family and let them know we are there for them.

"Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few." Ecclesiastes 5:2

His Ways: Part II

So here we are about to do something that seems impossible and unattractive in almost every way. We constantly ask God, "Are you sure? Am I hearing you right?" and every time God patiently answers, "Yes."


Now obeying God has become hard and it seems like we are going through a storm. Thankfully, the scripture doesn't stop at verse 9. Verse 10 says, "For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it being forth the bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it."



Now what does rain have to do with God's ways and man's ways? Why did God mention this next? I often wonder what man thought the first time it rained? (After the first rain that created the flood.) They might have thought that it was a nuisance, something that disrupted their work and caused their progress to be delayed. Maybe they had something outside that they didn't want to get wet and was now ruined. If it were up to man, (not knowing the bennefits of rain) he might wish it never happened again. But God's ways are not man's ways, neither are man's thoughts as God's thoughts. God knows we need rain, and even though we may not like it at the time, in the long run we will be glad it did rain because it brings forth new growth.



God's word is like the rain. We may not want it at times, but after the rain comes the buds, the seeds, and finally, the bread that we live by. Most of the time we can't see the whole picture. His thoughts are as high as the heavens and ours are so shallow! But God's word will always bring forth something good. It will always accomplish that which he pleases. It doesn't matter if we don't understand. It is so encouraging to be reminded that God's word will acomplish that which he pleases. It is almost as if God is saying, "Don't worry. It will work out just as I planned."

So we go on following his lead. We have faith. We trust.

"As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried; he is a buckler to all of those that trust in Him." II Samuel 22.31

His Ways: Part I

This is an artical that I wrote about 7 months ago but didn't know if I'd ever publish it. After reading it tonight I thought I'd change a few things and post it. This really encouraged me, I hope it encourages you too.



"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

Lately God has been showing me the meaning of this verse through circumstances in my life. So many times when we read verses such as this we tend to apply it to shallow things. For example, There was a time when I wanted a job working for a pediatric in a nearby town. The interview didn't go well and the doctor never called me back. While this seemed awful, I now realize that God had other plans for me and the place I am working at now is much better than the one I really wanted. I can see how my ways are not God's ways.

But that wasn't a hard test for me. Many people have to go months searching for a job and I can't say that I was exactly desperate for a job since I was still living at home and driving a car that is payed off. That was not an impossible situation.

What about the big things in life? Is this verse still true when it comes to life changing matters such as moving to a place that seems like the worst place in the whole world? (Just a side note: we are not moving and haven't even thought about moving! This is simply an example.) If God were to tell us to move far away from our family, our church, and the place we have lived all our life, to a town we aren't even interested in . . . what should our attitude be? Of course we would say, "Lord, this doesn't make sense! I can see no reason whatsoever why we should move! It just isn't realistic!" But God's word is still true. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways may ways, saith the LORD." After all, isn't this exactly what God told Abraham to do? I'm sure Abraham didn't understand why God wanted him to leave his home and family to go where God told him to. But he did it anyways.

Sometimes obeying God doesn't make any sense. In fact, it can seem embarrassing and impossible! But God is all wise and knows exactly what we need.

To be continued . . .

Desiring to do Right

Today while I was reading a blog I was very encouraged by this girls strong faith in God and strong convictions that she has. As I read post after post about the thoughts she had on serving God, praying, witnessing, and such, I was reminded once again of how far away from God I had gotten. In sadness I thought about how hard it is to get back to where I use to be, but I knew I couldn't blame it on God. Our LORD never makes it hard for us to come back, the hard part is giving up bad habits and start living a selfless life. Sin is fun for a season, but I have come to realize that even when the fun runs out, it's still hard to give up. Even if it is something as small as selfishness or using my time unwisely. I'm reminded of this verse and quote that everyone should live by.

"Through desire a man, having separated himself, seeketh and intermeddleth with all wisdom." Proverbs 18:1

"Sometimes I do what I want to, but most of the time I do what I have to do." ~ Bro. Mark McGaughey

To Talk About God

You know God is first in a person's life when the first thing they talk about, when asked how they're doing, is how good God's been to them. I want to be like that one day. So close to God that I want to talk about him all the time no matter who I'm talking to. But even more than that, I want people to know that I mean it when I open my mouth. I'm thankful for Christians like that in my life, I hope to be a blessing to others in the same way.

Thoughts on Resisting God

Tonight while I sat at the piano going over my favorite selections a song came to mind. I almost drove myself to the point of going crazy because I couldn't remember the words to the song nor the person who sings it! All I could hear was bits and pieces in my oh-too-short-memory. Finally God brought the person to mind so I got on mama's computer to see if she had it downloaded on Window's Media Player. As I scrolled through hours upon hours of gospel music I caught sight of Bro. Mark McGaughey's sermons. I paused for a minute then went back to looking for the song. Still, I couldn't help but see Bro. Mark's name in my head. Momentarily the song didn't seem very important as I scrolled back up and pressed the play button to, "Ye Do Always Resist".

As soon as Bro. Mark's deep voice sounded on the speakers I felt conviction. I suppose it was because he reminds me of the old camp meeting days when the Spirit of God was real. In those days my heart was very tender towards God and I wanted God to be ever present in my life. During those great church meetings the "in crowd" was serving God.

Or maybe I felt conviction because Bro. Mark seems like a man of God who is completely sold out to Christ. You can hear the compassion in his voice, and can almost see his broken heart at times. He is the man who once said those who aren't living a life sold out to God . . . "They don't know what they're missing!"

The scripture was out of Acts chapter 7, the message was from God. "Ye stiffnecked and uncircumcised in heart and ears, ye do always resist the Holy Ghost: as your fathers did, so do ye." We've all resisted God in our life at one point or another. Whether it's staying in our pew when God tells us to go the altar or saying "no" when God tells us to go to the mission field, it is sin. It is like turning our back on God and walking away from His will for us. It is a very sad and serious matter that I'm afraid we take too lightly. I believe God's heart is saddened every time we say no to the Holy Ghost. Every time we decide to go our own way we rob our self of a blessing. What about you? Have you resisted the Holy Ghost lately?

Something Good

Lately my life has not been as wonderful as I wish it were. I don't really know if it would be true to say that so many things are going wrong in my life because it very well could be that I am just experiencing a very big bout of "negativism". I do tend to see the bad things more then the good at times. It is so much easier to blame all my faults on the trial at hand then to suck it up and be strong like the Bible teaches. (Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. ~ 2 Timothy 2:3. That's not an easy verse to swallow!)

But today I am counting my blessings! Someone from our church came over for dinner which was followed by several ours of playing games. We played Taboo, Uno, Pit, Clue . . . pretty much everything on our shelf! What made the afternoon so fun was the laughter we shared, the jokes we told, the teasing we threw back and forth, and the common bond of God's love in our life. It's not very often that we come across people who have the same interests as we do much less the same senserity of serving God. It was so nice to be able to enjoy several hours with another Christian who understands why we live the way we do.

In the midst of all that the devil is throwing my way God gave me something good. Even if a dozen other things in my life seem to be going wrong, I am going to be thankful for the good thing that God has given me today. And if I live day by day - looking for those small blessings - life will be much easier.

"Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:" Psalms 103:2

You are What You Think You Are

A few weeks ago mama sent me the link to an article based on the verse out of Proverbs 23, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is." Since that day I have went back to this post twice and have thought about it more than any other article I've read in a long time. It reminds me of the scripture my youth pastor use to quote all the time, "Through desire a man, having separated himself, seeketh and intermeddleth with all wisdom." Proverbs 18:1. God will not force us to stay in His will, so we have to be determined to serve God. We have to make up our mind that we are going to do what is right even when it isn't easy. We have to constantly guide our heart in the right direction. We have to build that desire and consciously separate our self away from worldly things and thoughts. God doesn't change. Therefore, He will always be worthy of our praise and service.

"For I am the LORD, I change not . . ." Malachi 3:6

"For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's." 1 Corinthians 6:20

Jesus, Only Jesus

By John R. Rice

I walked the path of pleasure

I toiled for earthly treasure

But peace beyond all measure

I found in only Jesus.

~~~~~

My boasted goodness failed me

No cure for sin that ailed me

God's Spirit then prevailed me

To leave my sins on Jesus.

God's word I long resisted

~~~~~

His Spirit called insisted

Rpenting I I enlisted

With Jesus precious Jesus.

Oh Christ for love unceasing

~~~~~

For blessing e'er increasing

For all my fears releasing

I praise and love my Jesus!

Chorus

My sins are all forgiven

The Chains of sin are riven

And all my heart is given

To Jesus only Jesus!

Picture of Bethany's sunflower.

Quit Holding Back

Today mama sent me a devotional by Mark Batterson. Mama knew what I was going through so the timing of this piece was perfect! I managed to locate it on the Internet so that I could share it with you.

Now here comes the disclaimer . . . I haven't read anything else on his blog, but from the looks of it I think I should tell you that I do not agree with everything on his web sight. I know nothing about him or his web sight.This post alone has really encouraged me. I hope it is an encouragement to you too!

Letting the Devil Win

A few months ago I posted about a great mission conferance where I heard 4 native missionaries preach and sing. The next week I wrote the missionary to Chile to tell him what an encouragement I recieved from seeing him. I knew he wouldn't be back to his country until May, but I guess I was hoping his wife would write back. Weeks passed and I heard nothing. I started to think I shouldn't write the other families until their father/husband was back. Then I started to wonder if it really mattered. Would they care that a young girl from America took the time to write them? Does a little letter make any difference in thier busy life? Don't they have more important things to do anyways? As bad as this sounds, I was starting to think this way.

At first I prayed for them every day. Sometimes I would even think about a certain family throughout the whole day, praying for them diligently. But . . . the devil slipped in once again. I got busy and my mind started thinking about other things. Although I didn't forget them, I did forget how much they had blessed me and how much I desired to be a blessing to them. I went from praying for them every day to praying for them when I thought about them.

Today while I was out side washing the van and my car with Bethany, the missionary I had wrote called from his home in Chile! I was a little dissapointed that I didn't hear the phone ring, but I did get to listen to the message he left on our answering machine. I was absolutley thrilled that he took the time to call! It was such a blessing! The letter I sent must have been a blessing to him, not what the devil had been telling me.

At the same time that I was rejoicing over this blessing from God I also felt convicted for not praying for them as I should have. Now I can't wait to write the other 3 families and try to be an encouragement to them . . . I know they'll be an encouragement to me! Praise the LORD, the devil didn't win this time!

Victorious Valley Home For Girls

Several years ago some friends of ours gave us a copy of the Victorious Valley Home Girls Chior CD. Soon it became one of my favorite and most listened to CD in my collection of Christian music. Little by little I found out more about them and discovered that more people then I thought knew of them.

This Christmas my brother Ryan gave me two more of their CD's. From the very first song I felt the spirit of God through their singing and testimonies. These girls have been through pain, came from broken homes, and have a history of living life for the devil. When these girls sing "Jesus paid a dept He did not owe and I owe I dept I could not pay . . . " they realize that they never could repay Christ for giving them a new life. To them Christ really is a "Father to the Fatherless." It gives me joy to listen to them sing with their new found joy and desire to show others the way to Christ. You wont find much better singing then theirs.